On Sunday and especially Monday, I felt really good ... really good for me anyway. I went for about a half hour walk with my friend Jill and and our dogs .... which is long for me these days. I had a lot of energy .... my ankles were better than they have been in months. Good days make me hopeful .... maybe my RA is fizzling?
Then today, I woke up in a lot of pain .... and so so so tired. Fatigue. How can I describe fatigue to you .... it's more than being tired. I feel like a zombie .... it is hard to concentrate, time goes by quicker than usual because it take longer to do everything. I feel like I am in a time warp .... spacey .... I am already a little flippy dippy so fatigue takes me to a weird place. Then, comes the guilt .... I am hard on myself, and I am working on that. I feel angry that I can't do more, I don't have the energy to hang up my clothes and it makes me feel lazy. Then, I get pissed off. It's this vicious cycle. So, I went through all of that today. I woke up at 7:15, and I felt horrible, so I postponed an 8:30 appointment until after my 10:15 class. It was hard to walk all day ..... hard to concentrate. Days like these are not the norm thankfully, this has been one of my yuckier days ....
And that 8:30 appointment was to sign the separation agreement. I got it done at 1 pm instead. Maybe my extreme pain and fatigue was from the stress of all of that ... the anticipation. Well, it's done, so hopefully I will feel better tomorrow.
Glad to be home in my pajamas!