Mexicoma

Well, well, here I am back in blogger world. I have flaked out and not blogged for a week after claiming that this is a daily blog. There is probably a blogging term for that, but I don't know what it is. Sorry cyberspace ....

Anyway, so, where have I been? I have been in a Mexicoma. Love that word. I was watching Sex in the City the Movie again, and I related to Carrie more than I ever have before .... normally, I am more of a Charlotte type. Carrie gets dumped at the alter from her beau of 10 years and then her girlfriends go on her honeymoon with her. She sleeps for the first few days. When she finally gets out of bed she tells her friends that she has to snap out of this "Mexicoma". That's where I have been lately in the bowels of my own personal Mexicoma.

Sadly, I am not in the movie, so I am not at a five star resort in Mexico with a butler waiting on me and my best friends. But, if you want to be my generous benefactor and send me to a five star resort to get over my broken heart ..... GIVE ME A HOLLA.

My broken heart wasn't the only thing that put me in this mood .... and I didn't sleep the whole time, just the regular eight hours. No one has yelled, "cut" either. I have a 25 page paper due in a month. I had to read Thomas Hobbes Leviathan and I had to write a mock case brief on Mapp v. Ohio. So, I didn't totally disappear into my pillows and duvet. Though, that would have been great.

The Mexicoma started after my mini-meltdown at the Duke Clinic last Thursday. I was supposed to start some new medicine called Orencia. I have to get it at the transfusion clinic and it's thousands of dollars a dose. So, for a week, I was trying to figure out if it was going to cost me anything. Because, I had learned the hard way not to assume that your insurance will gladly pick up all of these new fangled disgustingly expensive drugs because that is simply not the case. BCBSNC will do everything they can to leave you with the bill. Maybe they should spend less money on those fancy TV commercials. Or maybe the pharmaceutical companies should get over themselves and not charge so much for drugs that sick people desperately need. Or, maybe the United States should stop bailing out companies like AIG and start bailing out sick people. Or maybe, we should become a communist nation and I can wait in line for 12 hours to see my doctor. (For some reason this is the impression that I had as a child about the Soviet Union ... you have to wait in line for everything.) Or, maybe the government should put sick people on an island and forget about them. Because I feel like that's what's really been going on anyway. Then, they could erase everyones' memories of the banished sick people. I am ranting I guess. But one of my main themes is the health care system in the US is a flippen mess.

Oh and by the way for those of you who are free market advocates, All of the new medication that I have been on for my RA has been about the same price. What is up with that? Doesn't sound very free market to me. Where is Adam Smith when you need him? Are these drugs prices being manipulated. If so, by who? Shouldn't the price vary? So, drugs prices are not following a capitalist system, nor are they socialist. Not sure what is going on .... Pricing is definitely being manipulated though for the mutual benefit of the sellers not the consumer. Kind of like when you go to the farmers market and all of the peaches are about the same price? These wily farmers have gotten together so they mutually make a nice profit. Instead of having to low ball their prices in order to compete with the farmer at the next booth. What is the economic term for this? It's called collusion and it's illegal.

Maybe I should look at the bright side .... at least I have health insurance .... at least I have a good doctor .... friends and family who care ..... Yes, this is all true ... and the bright side keeps me going every day. But, sometimes I get so overwhelmed and frustrated. I have never seen the movie Sicko, because I feel like I am living Sicko ..... I have no desire to see something that complains about something that I live ... I want change. I am sick of commiseration.

Apparently, One week of trying to figure out this whole mess was not enough. I showed up at the Clinic and the transfusion appointment lady had cancelled my appointment without telling me. My insurance was not going to cover my transfusions until I hit my $2,500.00 deductible. I could rant and call this appointment woman many nasty names, but I already have out loud .... wouldn't want to be redundant. And, ultimately, she is in over her head. She is not the sharpest and this billing, insurance bureaucratic bullshit is a mess (remember my mess theme?) It's a reflection on the Duke Clinic that they do not pay enough (or something) to get competent people in complicated positions. Or, maybe it shouldn't be so flippen complicated.

So, where am I now with this most recent mess? I am waiting to be approved to get Orencia for free for eight transfusions from a program from the company that makes Orencia. So, that's a bright side isn't it? I will be able to get this medicine eventually ....... So, I am waiting for faxes to go through paperwork .... signatures ........ approvals ..... everyone has to make sure that I am sick enough and poor enough .... and they have to make sure that my insurance sucks ... oh wait everyone insurance is sucking these days ...... Bureaucracy at its best. Good times! Have I mentioned that I can barely walk by 7pm as I wait for everyone to make sure that I am really pathetic enough? It's a shameful mess.